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Interview with a Vampire (and Other Assorted Characters)

If you get an interview, don't wear a vial of blood around your neck, refuse to pay for parking or let your fingernails pop off.

I recently met a fellow HR professional at a seminar. “M” and I struck up a friendly work related conversation and by lunch we were trading interview war stories. She shared this one first:

One time a woman came in for an interview wearing 6-inch pointy boots, Tammy Faye blue eye shadow and 3-inch fake, press-on fingernails.  Shortly after she began speaking with the woman, the fingernails began to pop off. Halfway through the interview, half of the nails were on the floor. When they were finished the woman stood up and immediately fell. Apparently her boots were so tight they cut off the circulation to her feet.  Lesson here – dress appropriately for an interview. 

My turn. I had arranged for a candidate to meet with a manager in New York City for a technician position. The gentleman called the morning of the interview to confirm. OK, good start. Approximately 15 minutes prior to his appointment he called to say he was having a difficult time finding a parking spot. 

He called back a few minutes later and said he still could not find a spot.  The person who answered the phone, since he will be reading this article I will call him handsome “D,” told him that there were several parking lots and garages in the area. The candidate replied that he had no money. He called back a few more times to update his status – still no free parking spots to be found on a weekday on the west side of Manhattan. Shocking! 

The candidate finally called and asked to speak to the manager he was supposed to meet with. The manager later shared the conversation with me, “Hey man, umm, I been driving around and can’t find a parking spot.  So I am here on your loading dock, just come on down and we can have the interview here.”

Interestingly, the manager declined. But, he did peek out the window to get a look at the guy. He was dressed in shorts and was wearing a baseball cap.

Here is a tip: probably a good idea to anticipate that you will have to pay to park in NYC. Oh and, as previously mentioned, dress appropriately for an interview.

“M” went next. She had set-up an interview after hours because she was replacing a current employee. The candidate walked in dressed in black, head to toe. Dark black hair, accented underneath with bleached blonde hair.

They sat down to speak and “M” commented, “What an interesting necklace you have on."

“Thank you, it is a vial of blood," the candidate replied casually.

The woman went on to explain that she was a vampire. “M” told me the first thing that ran through her mind was, “I wonder if fangs are covered under our dental plan.” (See, you work in HR long enough and not much fazes you.)

“M” described the duties of the job and mentioned that the hours were 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Yup, you guessed it; the woman asked if night hours were available. I guess that bursting-into-flames-if-daylight-hits-you thing is not conducive to a productive day job. Please understand I have nothing against vampires. Robert Pattinson can take me out for a bite anytime. I even used to watch the soap opera “Dark Shadows” at my Aunt Barbara’s house.

The lesson is, if you are a “night" person you should seek employment with hours suited to your needs.

Interviews are difficult to get. Please, take every precaution to make sure yours is taken seriously. As the saying goes, “you never get a second chance to make a first impression.”  Make yours memorable for the right reasons.

Jonathan Peebles October 2, 2011 at 02:37 am
Not all Vampires have night jobs. Many actually have kids and regular jobs (during the day). That stupid myth about Vampires burning in the sunlight was started by the movie "Nosferatu" which is one reason I am so against that movie now; they just didn't want to get sued by the Stoker Family but still got in trouble. Vampires in mythology have little effect to the sunlight except it does bother them some but they will not die...
Bob from Irvington October 2, 2011 at 06:03 am
My landscaper is a vampire and he doesn't work at night either. Regular guy, has a couple of kids, he's a little on the intense side but really knows his stuff. He didn't mention it when I interviewed him for the job. It wasn't until months later, we had become friendly and went on hunting and fishing weekend together. One morning at breakfast, literally while he was passing the salt (no kidding), he matter of factly said, "You know I'm a vampire, right?" I was really taken aback. Needless to say it became the topic of conversation over our morning eggs. He mentioned that it had really changed his life, that both he and his wife had become vampires after living as non vampires for 20 years. He said that the choice just came to him one day while walking in the woods. Said it just hit him like a bat to the head. I asked if something had inspired it. He said there were a number of reasons. It gave him more clarity, spiced up his marriage, which I won't get into here, but most interesting was the case he made for vampires as being environmentally conscious. He explained it as, recycling of, he didn't use the word blood, it was materials and energy. Really interesting guy and as I say, our place looks great, he does a really fantastic job and I've yet to see a cape or a coffin.
johnnyangel10 October 2, 2011 at 11:51 am
Some of the weirdos walking around in 'normal' apparel and make-up;I wonder when does Halloween stop or is it year round?
Jill Bryant October 2, 2011 at 12:22 pm
That would be "vial," not "vile."
Satta Sarmah (Editor) October 2, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Thanks. We've made the correction.
Miguel Hernandez October 2, 2011 at 02:31 pm
1. At the conclusion of a job interview the HR manager complimented me on my diction/pronounciation saying: "Miguel, you spoke very well and without an accent." I don't know what came over me but my response was: "Sank ju beri much bu if ju wan I can espeek weet a porrorican assent for abou fifsteen minou." ... I was not hired.
2. During a discussion about qualities that the agency was looking for in candidates, a fellow manager said: "They should be well dressed." Good advice but he had on a loud plaid jacket with a striped shirt and a polka-dit tie. His rumpled dark trousers were held up by a wide, white plastic belt. Actually, he was a very good manager giving lie to the old adage: " You can tell a good book by its cover."
Lisa Stamatelos October 2, 2011 at 03:00 pm
LOL! excellent response Miguel.
Lisa Stamatelos October 2, 2011 at 03:02 pm
Thanks Jill - I did not write the introduction - if you notice within the article (my writing) it is correct.
Jonathan Peebles October 2, 2011 at 09:27 pm
I suppose if you are in a job interview you should dress the part and look nice because you cant always do whatever you want on the job. Most homosexuals wouldn't even let that out that they are homosexual on the job because people can be so prejudice and close minded. Your Lifestyle and sexual orientation have nothing to do with the job so that should not even come out in an interview. BTW Robert Patterson is an actor and not a real Vampire LOL...
RJ October 2, 2011 at 10:41 pm
Wow all the freaks came out to comment here today. Very entertaining. Thanks for the laughs!
Lisa Stamatelos October 2, 2011 at 11:26 pm
:)
Lisa Stamatelos October 3, 2011 at 01:31 am
In my world - year round!
Rebecca Mazin October 3, 2011 at 01:28 pm
Last week a candidate did not complete an application and told me they had a resume. When I asked for a copy they said it was on their IPad. They then went on to explain that they did not have access to a printer and asked if they could email the resume so I could print it later. I said sure and made appropriate notes on the top of the empty application.
Lisa Stamatelos October 3, 2011 at 01:52 pm
Rebecca - What? Your crytal ball was on the blink? You could not "feel" that this was a perfect candidate? LOL!
Lisa

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shakemdown June 19, 2013 at 12:03 am
@ASHLEY TARR my comments that i posted did not contain profanity nor did they harrass or abuseRead More anyone, they were just what the forum is for, to discuss issues within our city. but i know, some people would consider it harrasment or would try to have it deleted because the truth hurts,and that's what some of our elected officials don't want you to hear, (the truth)
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sue June 17, 2013 at 07:00 pm
don't know why I'm having a problem getting this written............anyway...they are rude,Read More unhygenic and WILL NOT follow any of the condo rules....there's so much more but we are sick of it. There are only two of us that speak up...everyone else is cowering behind closed doors.
joshua tanner June 18, 2013 at 03:00 pm
Unleashed dogs is getting to be a big problem in Peekskill. I see them routinely now. People areRead More letting their pit bulls out, their poodles, their chihuahuas - all kinds of dogs. Two days a go I watched a lady jogging on the track with her loose dog. The dog wasn't even supposed to be on the track no less loose. Some kid or elderly lady is going to get bit. Loose dogs also end up in more fights with other dogs.
sayitsnotsojack June 19, 2013 at 09:15 am
Sue a sad fact that these days of “political correctness” individuals who exhibit rudeRead More and ignorant behavior are empowered by the rest of us. I know of a similar situation where the individuals will yell four letter words in the public areas with young children there, call others the foulest things, and in this case, they are black and gay so the race/gay card is used constantly. Until people make it known they are not going to tolerate their behavior it will not stop. Have you notified the property owner, complex board, and police, or maybe the board of health?
Nancy O'Connor June 17, 2013 at 09:33 am
It was our pleasure to help out....good food, good weather, all around good time!!
leesther brown June 18, 2013 at 11:48 am
@Nancy,,I Thanked both you and Pauline Ghilcrest for serving the community and they took my commentsRead More down twice!!! Once again Thank You..you're automatically signed up for next year..:)
joshua tanner June 15, 2013 at 10:28 pm
It seems Patch moves editors every year. Liz was here when I signed up. Then she was shortly movedRead More to Rye and Rasheed took over. He must have been here about a year and then he left when the new format was introduced. Both times patch started cooking and then it got cut down just as new staff got their mojo going. A new editor with a new format seems like starting from scratch again. I know AOL/Patch needs to get some cash flow going quick (from what I've read) but I can't see what they are trying to do exactly by tipping the cart over and over
Wendy Kelly June 17, 2013 at 08:37 am
Agree Joshua just when you have a good thing going with an Editor they move. I can't figure thisRead More site out I was not allowed to post for at least a week thought Mary et al put an hex on me. Hey anyone know where Peter Goodson is??? I miss his posts.
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new format is a dud.. 100% dud.. not user friendly.. a horror to navigate, as mentioned... noRead More benefit here. not at all.. quickly becoming a ex Patch fan... fix the mess you made..
Wendy Kelly June 15, 2013 at 11:03 am
http://search.lohud.com/sp?aff=1100&skin=&keywords=revitalization of Peekskill
Working Families Party endorsed candidate Mary Foster
Robin Seggs June 14, 2013 at 10:44 am
Working Families Party almost always cross endorses with Democrats. Looks like the choice isRead More getting clearer: One team is Democrat, WFP and Independent and the Catalina Team is Republican, Right-to-life, Conservative. Anyway, I believe Catalina is campaigning as anti-gay rights, so I know how I will be voting.
jo June 14, 2013 at 02:28 pm
and so many in the cast of characters that attend the meetings. believe Mary is a republican atRead More heart.. and here the Left of all left dem groups endorses here..mmmmmmmm just thinking out loud..
stephanie June 14, 2013 at 03:57 pm
mary foster and the rest of her butt kissers not need to run after what they have done to this cityRead More already we don't need them to run another term they neeed to get out and stay out. i believe frank catalina will much better than foster will ever be he cares about the city and does not like what foster has done to this city i wish him very much luck and i truly believe he will win as our mayor for peekskill good luck and kick foster and her butt kissers out of city hall and keep them out
af24us June 12, 2013 at 01:48 pm
I agree - the dangerous stop signs On Hudson Ave should be removed in both directions and keep theRead More stop signs on South St. and the exit ramps from Route 9.