Obituaries

Betty Cottin Miller: 1925-2013

Betty Ruth Cottin Miller, who started her married life in Peekskill, raising four children and organizing several educational programs while her husband, Dr. Bernard S Miller rose to become Principal of Peekskill High School, died on August 2, 2013 in Brighton, Mass. She was 88.

The cause was ovarian cancer, her family said.

After 13 years in Peekskill, the Millers move to Mamaroneck, where Ms. Miller became a demanding and devoted longtime English teacher at Mamaroneck High School in New York who started a program for students with learning disabilities and helped set up an open-curriculum “school-within-the-school.”

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Throughout her life, Ms. Miller proved to be a natural leader. She served as an official in the Mamaroneck teachers’ union and was elected president of nearly every group she joined, including the parent-coop “Round Robin Nursery School” and the synagogue-based day care center she organized in Peekskill, N.Y.; the PTA, Neighborhood Association and Hadassah in Larchmont, N.Y; and the residents' council at the Cabot Park Senior Living Community in Newton.   

For six years she helped her husband, Bernard S Miller, run summer programs in the humanities, with funding from the John Hay Whitney and Ford Foundations. And she worked as a librarian during Dr. Miller’s three years as headmaster of the International School in Belgrade, Yugoslavia. In retirement, Ms. Miller became an editor of the Star, an alternative newspaper in Winchester, N.H., and later served as the office librarian for Ms. Magazine in New York City (her sister, Letty Cottin Pogrebin, is one of the magazine’s founders).  

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Ms. Miller was pre-deceased by her husband, who died of Parkinson’s disease in March 16, 2009, and by their son Jeffrey, who died of AIDS on October 6, 1991. The Millers subsequently became active in fighting for AIDS research funding and against homophobia.  She is survived by three other children – Steven of Cambridge, Mass.; Donald of Essex, VT; and Cyral of Austin Tx. – six grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.

Although she grew up during the Depression, Ms. Miller early on demonstrated the moxie and independence of a modern woman. At age 12, she introduced her divorced mother, Cyral, to her schoolmate’s father, Jack Cottin, an attorney. They married soon after, and Ms. Miller was legally adopted by Mr. Cottin. 

After graduating from Queens College in 1946, Betty married Bernie Miller – then a returning World War II Captain– whom she described as “the love of my life” -- and the couple moved to Peekskill, N.Y. and then to Larchmont.  Despite Bernie’s progressing illness, until his last years they spent the last few decades of their marriage traveling the world with Elder Hostel’s educational trips, enjoying each other’s company nearly every minute of every day.

In 2005, the Millers moved to Cabot Park Village in Newton, to be closer to their oldest son Steven and his wife Sally. 

Ms. Miller spent her final year at Chestnut Park Assisted Living Residence in Brighton, Mass., where she was known for a positive attitude that earned her the respect of both residents and staff.  As she bid family members farewell in her final weeks, Ms. Miller repeatedly said she was at peace and ready to go, that she had seen all the places she wanted to see, had every possible adventure and been very lucky. “I’m grateful,” she told them. “Been there, done that.”

Submitted by Steven E. Miller


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